while at my mom's house for xmas, i started going through my old letters, spanning from about 1993 to 1997: basically when i started searching out pen pals onto the fanzines correspondence onto my first year at college. after that point i officially moved to boston full-time and have kept all my letters with me.

my intent was to sort out letters to keep and ones to forget forever; though of course i got caught up in reliving all the old times, jogging my memory of people i used to know and write to, and i kept forgetting to consider keep or forget? but then i'm not so sure that i should really forget any of them. i was almost laughing out loud reading notes from various "stalkers" at college (kind of a joke term, but a bit too fitting at the same time), two of which both start out with are you mad at me? impressively, i only found one envelope that contained a zine order with money. [mary who was at holy cross college in february 1997: i hope you got your zine & i just forgot the $2 was in the envelope.] there were so many letters from people i used to write to who i fell out of touch with, it made me so sad wondering if i would ever cross paths with them again. so many sweet letters and sweet people...

i also found an old envelope my mom gave me at some point, though i don't recall the exact circumstances. it's addressed to my grandmother from a woman i don't know, but then that isn't so surprising since my grandmother died 35 years ago (long before i was born). i wish i knew what was sent in the envelope as i know so little about basically everyone in my family, even those who are alive and well. all i know about my grandmother is that her family was from lithuania, her parents died when she was very young (no one knows how or where), she died when my mom was 16, and she wrote a novel that was never published.

i'm curious about this envelope because it was addressed before she married my grandfather. i wish i could go to that address and somehow find out what she was doing in new york then, what her life was like. but besides the fact that there would most likely be nothing at all to find, buildings get torn down and street numbers get reassigned, so the actual place might be gone forever. nyc-ers should feel free to take a field trip for me and report back. though i am of course upholding my ever-present vow to get down to nyc "soon." for all my intentions, i only get down there maybe once or twice a year, if that.