there is something unbalanced about today, a question of how such a smooth journey into manhattan this morning1 could degenerate into a stretched afternoon of uncertainties crossed with sad certainties (in bold) and anxious planning running diagonally up from the left.

how often i have suspected the us postal service of hoarding my mail, but less rarely do i wonder if the internet is swallowing my messages. all week i've only received twelve electronic mailings, only four of which were actual notes with conversational details related specifically to me (emphasis added). it could be one for each day of the work week, except that's not how they came at all. perhaps i am not the only one holding my breath & crossing fingers lately.

i wonder again if i could have kept up the old levels of prolific activity if i had just stayed in one place for a while, kept one address instead of the endless updating and forwarding. the shuffling around distracts the brain from certain pathways. but then it's odd how at times one can feel settled against threatening odds.

or rather that, with a quiet anticipation, i can see past hectic days & readjustments to a return of sorts.

you'll come visit, yes? (underline)